We really need to kick it up in the dreidel department. Sure we've seen dreidels tap dance, and be used as a sexual euphemism on Millionaire Matchmaker but still wouldn't they be better if they spun automatically?
Probably not. That's why the battery-operated dreidel is featured on a web show called Stupid Inventions. This video is equally funny and sad. Something about the quietness of the video makes us want to give the host a hug. Something about the ending makes us think he's a jokster and will be just fine.
The Andrew Sisters were honored this week by being inducted into the National Recording Registry of works of historical and cultural significance. The specific recording was "Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen” a Yiddish song that became wildly popular, launched the Andrew Sisters' careers and made Maxene, Patty and LaVerne the first female vocal group to be awarded a Gold Record.
"Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen” was honored along side the likes of Etta James' "At Last," Dylan Thomas' "A Child's Christmas in Wales," and, in other Jew news, "2000 Years with Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks."
The Andrew Sisters were also honored by two weird girls in a bedroom, covering the Andrew Sisters harmony perfection by using an egg shaker and a rainbow melodica. They are The Heartbreaking Lyrics. They are awesome.
Schmeckle may be one of our favorite Yiddish words. It isn't has harsh as schmuck, but it still has that great Yiddish sound to it.
In this video, multi-lingual Baby Shay has found his schmeckle, and his parents are delighted. So delighted, in fact, that his dad keeps asking him to find it again. Over and over and over again. Until Shay smacks his head on the mirror. It would be disturbing if it wasn't so adorable.
You know that here at I Heart Jews we love anything awkward.
Shock Jock team Opie & Anthony put their poor awkward intern, "B.D. Dave" up to reading a sports report chock-full of ham-fisted (pun intended) Jewish references and shoehorned in Yiddish. We're not sure there would be anything funny about this clip on the radio, but seeing how cute and scared "B.D. Dave" is, just makes us want to reach through the screen and give him a hug.
Apparently, being awkward and nebbish has rocketed "B.D." to radio intern stardom, but let's remember, though there's lots of B.D. Daves out there, there is also the Sandy Koufaxs, the Shawn Greens, and the Ryan Brauns.
Over the past few moths, we've brought you many Jewish-themed novelty songs. Some of them are slick, and some are supremely uncomfortable. Today's selection may take the cake.
Behold: THE KOSHER COWBOY
We're almost hesitant to do too much research on The Kosher Cowboy because so much of his mystique is in the lack of information. Is he serious? Is he a comedian? Is he a math teacher?
As far as we can tell, according to his MySpace page, his name is Louis Farbstein, and music is his passion. He's been to Rock N' Roll fantasy camp (where he won Battle of the Bands), he loves his wife, and occasionally dresses up as various rock icons.
Enjoy these amazing videos from a new novelty-song superstar: The Kosher Cowboy.
Chabad.org doesn't let us embed, so let us break it down for you.
Shira really likes wine.
She wants to drink it every day. She has a lot of questions about it. So the talking wine bottle ("Wow! A talking wine bottle!") comes to tell her about - the dangers of underage drinking?
Nope.
Wine bottle is there to tell Shira how wine makes you "happy" and "feel special."
So, Shira likes wine even more now! Mr. Wine Bottle really hits it home when he helps Shira compare Kosher grapes to "something very precious" that she has and "she won't let anyone touch. "
Oh, dear. I think maybe Mr. Wine Bottle has had a little too much of himself this Shabbat.
Apparently, Christians no longer corner the market on super cheeseball religious edu-tainment. Everything Is Terrible presents an absolutely amazing array of Hanukkah dorkiness. We loved it so much we just couldn't wait 'till Hanukkah to post it.
New York-based comedian Gil Ozeri must not own a kosher phone card. Though he does stand-up, sketch and improv, Gil is oft known on the web for his phone sex pranks. He calls in, hits record, asks for something weird, and lets the hilarity ensue.
Well, It's Monday again. That means it is time to bring you a Bar Mitzvah video that either makes you laugh your head off or gouge your eyes out!
Today's selection is hilarious, mysterious and disturbing.
This is not intended to poke fun at adorable Josh (he seems like a sweet and funny kid) or his family (they seem supportive and fun) or at the milestone event that is the actual Bar Mitzvah (we heart Jews).
That being said... this musical montage is totally nuts.
Josh's Bar Mitzvah, 2008. Professional Video Montage: Love In This Club
I’m what you want, I’m what you need He got you trapped, I’ll set you free Sexually, mentally, physically, emotionally I’ll be like your medicine, you’ll take every dose of me It’s going down on aisle 3, I’ll bag you like some groceries And every time you think about it you gon’ want some more of me
What? You'll "bag me like some groceries?"! Seriously? How did this happen? There are a few possible explanations for this insanely inappropriate song choice:
1) Love In This Club is Josh's favorite song, and whatever the Bar Mitzvah boy wants, he gets- regardless of the trauma it causes those who watch the video.
2) Nobody at the videography company speaks English, so they chose Love In This Club based on the song's enticing beat.
3) The family only gave a cursory listen to the song and thought "I want to make love in this club" referred to the deep love of family and Jewish tradition.
4) The video's editor was told that Josh "became a man" that night and thought Love In This Club told the story of the evening quite fittingly.
5) They are all comic geniuses.
We think the whole video is amazing, but we've highlighted some of our favorite (most disturbing) moments along with the full, super-sexy lyrics.
Usher Love In This Club (Ft. Young Jeezy) Lyrics w/ Josh's Video Montage Highlights
Gotta do it for the ladies And I gotta keep it hood Where we at Polo (Ay) I see you Ryan Yo Keith you was right But we just gettin started yeahhhhhhhh mannnnnnnnnn
You see you searching for somebody That'll take you out and do you right Well come here baby and let daddy show you what it feel like You know all you gotta do is tell me what you sippin' on And I promise that I’m gonna keep it comin’ all night long
Lookin’ in your eyes while you on the other side And I think that shorty I’ve got a thing for you you keep doing it on purpose winding and workin’ it I can tell by the way you lookin’ at me girl
I wanna make love in this club (1:10 Doing the Hora, Lighting Candles) (make love in this club,ey in this club,ey in this club) I wanna make love in this club (in this club,ey in this club,ey in this club)
(Listen)you got some friends rollin’ wit you baby then that's cool You can leave them with my homies let em know that I got you If you didn’t know, you’re the only thing that’s on my mind Cuz the way I'm staring miss you got me wantin to give it to you all night
Lookin’ in your eyes while you walk the other side I can't take it no more (1:56 reading the Torah) Baby I'm coming for you You keep doin’ it on purpose winding and working it If we close our eyes it could be just me and you
I wanna make love (in this club ey 'in this club,ey in this club) (2:06 Josh being raised in the chair) I wanna make love (in this club in this club, in this club) I wanna make love (in this club, in this club, in this club) (2:13 Josh being embraced by Mom) I wanna make love in this club (in this club, in this club) (2:17 Josh dancing with various older lady relatives)
I’m what you want, I’m what you need He got you trapped, I’ll set you free Sexually, mentally, physically, emotionally I’ll be like your medicine, you’ll take every dose of me It’s going down on aisle 3, I’ll bag you like some groceries (2:48 Josh dressed like Elvis, singing to all the young girls) And every time you think about it you gon’ want some more of me ( 2:51 Josh dancing with his hot mom) About to hit the club, make a movie yeah rated R Pulled up like a trap star, That's if you have yo regular car You wanna make love to a thug in the club with his Sice on 87 jeans and a fresh pair of Nikes on On the couch, on the table, on the bar, or on the floor You can meet me in the bathroom yeah you know I’m trying go (3:08 Family being raised in chairs)
Might as well give me a kiss If we keep touching like this I know you scared baby they don't know what we doin Lets both get undress right here Keep it up girl and I swear I'ma give it to you none stop And I don't care who's watchin watchin watchin watchin watchin ohh in this club on the floor baby lets make love (3:38 Josh and the Torah)
I wanna make love (in this club in this club, in this club, in this club) I wanna make love (in this club in this club, in this club, in this club)
When we think of Annie Hall, there are so many amazing moments, but this one has always stood out for us. Though the movie was released over 30 years ago, this scene still holds up amazingly well- tapping into an awkwardness that never goes out of style.
Plus, Woddy Allen saying "It's dynamite ham," is pure, subtle gold.
Oy Gevalt. This clip from Who's Line is it Anyway? gives us a major case of shpilkes.
It begins with 1:45 of things like Wayne Brady accidentally (?) saying that she is his butt.
There are a few clever lines in there, " A yarmulke is a hat without a string or propeller/ But I am without a feller" maybe things will be OK.
Oh, dear. The audience volunteer looks miserable.
Awkward. Awkward. Awkward.
Hold on. Actually, upon repeat viewing (which we do not recommend) we notice that Jerry, a nice Jewish boy, does a pretty darn good job! Though he is clearly not an improviser by trade, he's super bouncy, committed, in-character and listening intently. At one point (2:10) he even does some purposeful awkwardness for comedic effect! Good job, Jerry!
Note: If we ever have to see Wayne Brady say "tuchas" again, or even, heaven forbid, "gevalt", we're pretty sure our brains will explode.
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