Mazel Tov Monday: Josh's Sexy Bar Mitzvah Song

Well, It's Monday again. That means it is time to bring you a Bar Mitzvah video that either makes you laugh your head off or gouge your eyes out!

Today's selection is hilarious, mysterious and disturbing.

This is not intended to poke fun at adorable Josh (he seems like a sweet and funny kid) or his family (they seem supportive and fun) or at the milestone event that is the actual Bar Mitzvah (we heart Jews).

That being said... this musical montage is totally nuts.

Josh's Bar Mitzvah, 2008.
Professional Video Montage: Love In This Club

I’m what you want, I’m what you need
He got you trapped, I’ll set you free
Sexually, mentally, physically, emotionally
I’ll be like your medicine, you’ll take every dose of me
It’s going down on aisle 3, I’ll bag you like some groceries
And every time you think about it you gon’ want some more of me

What? You'll "bag me like some groceries?"! Seriously? How did this happen? There are a few possible explanations for this insanely inappropriate song choice:

1) Love In This Club is Josh's favorite song, and whatever the Bar Mitzvah boy wants, he gets- regardless of the trauma it causes those who watch the video.

2) Nobody at the videography company speaks English, so they chose Love In This Club based on the song's enticing beat.

3) The family only gave a cursory listen to the song and thought "I want to make love in this club" referred to the deep love of family and Jewish tradition.

4) The video's editor was told that Josh "became a man" that night and thought Love In This Club told the story of the evening quite fittingly.

5) They are all comic geniuses.

We think the whole video is amazing, but we've highlighted some of our favorite (most disturbing) moments along with the full, super-sexy lyrics.

Usher
Love In This Club (Ft. Young Jeezy) Lyrics
w/ Josh's Video Montage Highlights

Gotta do it for the ladies
And I gotta keep it hood
Where we at Polo (Ay)
I see you Ryan
Yo Keith you was right
But we just gettin started
yeahhhhhhhh mannnnnnnnnn

You see you searching for somebody
That'll take you out and do you right
Well come here baby and let daddy show you what it feel like
You know all you gotta do is tell me what you sippin' on
And I promise that I’m gonna keep it comin’ all night long

Lookin’ in your eyes while you on the other side
And I think that shorty I’ve got a thing for you
you keep doing it on purpose winding and workin’ it
I can tell by the way you lookin’ at me girl

I wanna make love in this club
(1:10 Doing the Hora, Lighting Candles)
(make love in this club,ey in this club,ey in this club)
I wanna make love in this club
(in this club,ey in this club,ey in this club)

(Listen)you got some friends rollin’ wit you baby then that's cool
You can leave them with my homies let em know that I got you
If you didn’t know, you’re the only thing that’s on my mind
Cuz the way I'm staring miss you got me wantin to give it to you all night

Lookin’ in your eyes while you walk the other side
I can't take it no more
(1:56 reading the Torah)
Baby I'm coming for you
You keep doin’ it on purpose winding and working it
If we close our eyes it could be just me and you

I wanna make love (in this club ey 'in this club,ey in this club)
(2:06 Josh being raised in the chair)
I wanna make love (in this club in this club, in this club)
I wanna make love (in this club, in this club, in this club)
(2:13 Josh being embraced by Mom)
I wanna make love in this club (in this club, in this club)
(2:17 Josh dancing with various older lady relatives)

I’m what you want, I’m what you need
He got you trapped, I’ll set you free
Sexually, mentally, physically, emotionally
I’ll be like your medicine, you’ll take every dose of me
It’s going down on aisle 3, I’ll bag you like some groceries
(2:48 Josh dressed like Elvis, singing to all the young girls)
And every time you think about it you gon’ want some more of me
( 2:51 Josh dancing with his hot mom)
About to hit the club, make a movie yeah rated R
Pulled up like a trap star,
That's if you have yo regular car
You wanna make love to a thug in the club with his Sice on
87 jeans and a fresh pair of Nikes on
On the couch, on the table, on the bar, or on the floor
You can meet me in the bathroom yeah you know I’m trying go
(3:08 Family being raised in chairs)

Might as well give me a kiss
If we keep touching like this
I know you scared
baby they don't know what we doin
Lets both get undress right here
Keep it up girl and I swear
I'ma give it to you none stop
And I don't care who's watchin watchin watchin watchin watchin
ohh in this club on the floor baby lets make love
(3:38 Josh and the Torah)

I wanna make love (in this club in this club, in this club, in this club)
I wanna make love (in this club in this club, in this club, in this club)

Usher - New Music - More Music Videos

Mazel Tov!